Frustrated
by sweetytweety8
Summary: Jane is feeling frustrated because of her feelings for Maura. Find about Jane's silly thoughts that are running through her head while she is struggling with her attraction toward her best friend. Rated M just in case
1. Chapter 1

**Frustrated**

 **AN: Jane is feeling frustrated because of her feelings for Maura. Find about Jane's silly thoughts that are running through her head while she is struggling with her attraction toward her best friend.**

I was frustrated, mostly with myself. I have been feeling frustrated and confused for quite some time. I have been struggling with my feelings for my best friend, trying to suppress them and keep them in secret from her. The truth was that I liked Maura a lot. She was my best friend after all and so perhaps that was quite normal. But lately I just couldn't stop thinking about her. Well, maybe that doesn't sound very extraordinary because she is my best friend but the odd part was that I wasn't thinking about her as just a friend. Because lately, I have started feeling things that I wasn't supposed to and seeing things that I haven't noticed before. Things like her looks - her revealing outfits, her sexy body, her confident demeanor. It was her fault after all. Because of Maura and her sexy outfits. So sexy and revealing...and... Well, how could I not notice her and even stare?! I wasn't blind after all. Though sometimes I wish I was because I was seeing things that I wasn't supposed to even look at them. She wore beautiful dresses and skirts with shirts and all of them were so tight that I just couldn't help but wonder how she breathes in them. But I also wonder about many other things... very inappropriate at that. The effect of her sexy dresses was amazing because she always looked stunning in every single one of them. But she was a beautiful woman and maybe it wasn't my fault that I was thinking about these kind of things. No one would deny that she is beautiful, and sexy, and smart. She has sexy body with round and beautifully shaped breasts. And that ass of hers! Oh, my! I needed to stop thinking about her! I just had to! Probably that was the reason I was so frustrated - because I was thinking about her. All the time. And I just couldn't stop. Out of sight, out of mind, as they say. That was my best option - to avoid her.

Easier said than done. It was early morning and I was at work. We were in the morgue, discussing the case. Maura had called me to go there to tell me what she found out and I just could said no. It was my job after all so I had to suck it up and go. I was fiddling with my hair nervously, trying to focus on the case and not on the way Maura looked. I was avoiding thinking about her and about the fact that she looked so sexy even with that outfit.

 _"Just focus, Jane, I encouraged myself. Just avoid looking at her body and focus on her face. Just look at her lips and focus what she is saying with these lips of hers... and the way she moves them... and what else she could possible do with them... Nope! Okay, just look at the dead body! There's a dead body in the room!... Why are you thinking about such things when there is a dead person?! Gross! Actually, that helps. Wait, did she ask me something? Great! You weren't listening to her! Okay, just nod at her, and agree with whatever she is saying to you."_

I just nodded my head in a sign of approval and she continued talking.

 _"Phew! Okay, now listen. And focus. Focus on her voice. Oh my, I have always loved her voice. I just loved the way she talked, her soft and sweet voice, her sexy intonation. But probably it's for the best to listen what she is saying because you're missing important things, Jane, I was talking to myself, trying not to get distracted by my own thoughts. Okay, I'll just focus on her voice. Ooh, that sexy voice of hers! I've been dreaming about hearing that husky voice of hers moan my name over and over again... I just love everything about her."_

Suddenly Maura pointed at me and I was brought back to reality. "Jane," she called my name and caught my attention. "It's a sign of sexual frustration," she stated, pointing at my hair. I was still fiddling with my hair unconsciously, thinking about her.

"Or tangled hair," I answered back as I let go of my hair.

"And speaking of sexual frustration... "she came closer to me, "Jane, last night I had such a weird dream," Maura confessed, looking at me.

"Okay," I answered, looking at her surprised that she was telling me that kind of things. I didn't want to know anything about her dreams. That would probably make things even worse. "Good for you," I said because I didn't know what else to say. I just didn't know where she was heading with that statement. "I had one, too, but you don't wanna know abou-" I murmured under my nose but trailed off when I heard what she said to me since she obviously wasn't listening to my murmuring.

"It was a wet dream," she quickly said, interrupting my thoughts and at that very moment I almost chocked on her words.

 _"Mine, too. I thought to myself, smiling. Oops, I really hoped I didn't say that out loud."_

"And you are sharing this because..." I started saying, trying to sound normal, waiting for her to finish off my sentence.

"I was just sharing information," she told me so innocently. Like it was just a casual friendly conversation, sharing something ordinary with her friend. "And since we are on the topic, can I ask you something personal?"

"Sure," I answered and shrugged.

 _"Did she think that she needed my permission to ask me a question? And since when she thought so? Maybe it was something too personal since she was asking for my permission. But I really hope I am wrong."_

"Have you ever..." she started saying quietly and then she looked down suggestively, "uhm... you know."

"What?" I asked, surprised by her behavior. I couldn't get what she meant with that gesture.

 _"Is she going to ask me if I have ever dreamed about her? I really hope not. Or maybe it was something else that was too personal to share."_

Maura definitely looked odd, standing there, looking at me questionably. And a bit nervous, too.

"Have you done," she leaned closer to me so I could hear her better, "you know..." she said and looked down again.

 _"What the hell is she trying to tell me? I have no idea. Not even the slightest."_

"What?" I asked, getting closer so I could hear her even better. She looked nervous and talked really quietly, almost whispering her words. Obviously it was something very personal since she was acting so weird about it. But I was getting tired of her stuttering and not getting straight to the point.

"Have you ever masturbated?" She finally asked, way too loudly and a bit angrily like it was my fault that I couldn't get what she meant with her odd gestures and murmuring.

"Excuse me?" I managed to say, shocked by her direct and way too personal question.

"Have you ever pleasured yourself?" She asked with a normal tone, repeating her question more persuasively this time. And more confidently.

"I am gonna pleasure myself by walking out of this conversation," I answered her, and started walking away from her.

 _"No way! That did not just happen! How could she ask me such a personal thing?! Didn't she have any boundaries ?"_

"Jane!" I heard her exclamation so I turned around. I didn't want to upset her and I knew that she usually gets offended pretty easily so I waited there.

"Maura, normal friends don't discuss that kind of things," I stated, trying to make her see why the topic was so inappropriate to discuss. Especially with her.

"We are not just normal friends, Jane." she answered back at my statement.

"Are you suggesting that I am not a normal person?" I questioned, making myself sound offended by her statement. It was my only way out of her uncomfortable question.

"Jane, you are avoiding the question," she said with a blaming tone.

"What? Are you saying I am an alien now!?" I exclaimed, still talking about her statement. She was right. I was avoiding her question and it was on purpose.

"Jane!" she said my name in a threatening tone so I stopped talking immediately.

"What?" I asked after a small pause in which she was looking at me sternly.

"I think you are frustrated," she stated with a knowing look.

I gave her a puzzled look. I didn't want to hear that. Not from her. And especially not right now. Since she was the main reason that I was so frustrated.

"Sexually, I mean," she added, like I was dumb or something and I couldn't understand her the first time. Of course I knew what she meant!

"I am asking you that kind of questions with a reason."

"Really!? Cause I thought you're just jibber-jabbering." I answered her back.

"I was just making a delicate hint to you. Did you know that sex releases immunoglobulin-A? Because I do and I was just trying to-"

"You were trying to what?" I interrupted her. "To show me that you're a smarty pants?" I joked.

"What? No," she said seriously. She probably didn't get my joke at all.

"So basically you're saying I should get laid?" I asked, mocking her.

"Well, basically I-"

"How rude of you!" I interrupted her. "You should be ashamed of yourself Doctor Isles."

"No, Jane," she came closer to me, taking my hands in hers. "I was trying to tell you something. And the thing that I was trying to tell you, but you kept interrupting me, is that I think you should pleasure yourself in order to feel more relaxed and not to be so cranky all the time. And not be so frustrated, too."

"But I am not, Maura." I said and let go of her hands. "I am not frustrated," I declared, hoping she would leave me alone and stop talking about pleasure and masturbation and anything of that sort.

"I notice these things, Jane." She said, holding my shoulder.

"Good for you, Maura. You know what? You should be a Detective," I said, getting annoyed at her persuasiveness. "From now on, I will be the Medical Examiner just so you could be the Detective," I said, pulling away from her hand. "Detective Maura Isles!"

"See, you are cranky!" She made her point.

"Okay. Whatever you say," I agreed with her. "Gotta go," I exclaimed, hurrying towards the exit.

"Hey, didn't you mention something about a wet dream that you had?"

"Nope," I said innocently, biting my lips. I couldn't believe she had heard me. I murmured it so quietly and I said it to myself. So I quickly exited the room, not leaving her any time to ask me further questions. I hoped she would forget about it. And about our whole conversation, too, because it was really awkward . I was such a liar. I felt bad because I told her I am not frustrated even though it was so obviously not true. I really hoped that she wouldn't feel offended by my me and my stupid jokes.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: The second chapter is ready. I really hope you like it. Do you like the story so far? And is it worth continuing it? Write reviews and let me know what you think about it.**

 **Later the same day...**

It was late afternoon. We were at the Dirty Robber, sitting together, discussing the current case. Maura had ordered herself wine and I wanted beer.

"So what was your dream about?" I decided to ask after our discussion was over. I finally mustered enough courage to ask her because I've been wondering about it all day.

"What?" Maura asked, a bit confused by my blunt question.

 _"Your wet dream. Helloo!"_ I wanted to tell her straightforwardly but I didn't.

"You know... the weird dream that you said you had last night," I explained nervously.

 _"The wet dream, Maura. The wet dream!"_ Once again I wanted to tell her but I resisted.

She nodded her head understandingly. "Ohh. That. Yeah... Uhm... I dreamed of a person."

"Wow! How unusual and weird!" I said sarcastically. "A person! I am so shocked!" I exclaimed, mocking her because of her stupid answer. Or in fact, it was quite the opposite, her answer was really smart because she was trying to avoid my question.

"Okay, don't mock me because I can't tell you who I dreamed of."

"What? Why?" I exclaimed, asking her to give me a reason. I was getting even more curious after she said that. Mainly because I was wondering what could possibly be the reason that she couldn't tell me. "Are you like five? You were the one who started this conversation in the first place. Now you gonna have to tell me." I insisted, trying to convince her to tell me the truth.

"No, no. I can't," she said, shaking her head, biting her lower lip nervously.

"Oh, come on. Don't be such a baby," I encouraged her, and then I took a sip of my beer.

"It was you," she whispered.

The moment I heard what she said and figured what she was really talking about I chocked. This time literally. I started coughing because the beer got stuck in my throat.

"Jane, are you okay?" Maura asked with a concerned look, patting my back.

 _"Does she wants to kill me!? To finish me off with that touch? And with her words? And mostly with her confession?"_

"Yeah," I said, barely talking, swallowing harshly, feeling the beer in my throat.

"What happened?" she asked, finally putting her hand away from my back.

"I drank too fast," I answered and she giggled.

 _"She nearly killed me and now she's laughing. How rude!"_

"Oh, Jane, you're always so eager."

Her words sounded so lewd to me that they made me think about something else. I just couldn't help but imagine Maura telling me the exact same words under very different circumstances. Very dirty circumstances at that. For instance in bed though not necessarily there. Because I'd be eager for her in any place in the world, just anywhere she wanted to be. But I had to focus. She said that it was me. Did she mean that the dream was about me? Her wet dream? Or was I being paranoid and she was talking about something entirely different? Or maybe she was just messing up with me.

"So who did you say that you dreamed last night?" I asked, looking at her. "Did you say that it was me?" I murmured questionably, not sure if I wanted her to hear me or not.

"Yeah," she nodded, smiling mischievously at me. "I was joking, of course," she added and I pouted. "But I didn't mean to choke you with my joke. I am sorry," she apologized and giggled once again.

I looked at her, wondering how she could make such jokes. And how could she be so cruel. She was looking at me so innocently but her joke was definitely mean. But I was pretty sure that she didn't even suspect why it had such an effect on me. She probably had no clue. And that was really frustrating. A very bad moment to make a joke.

"Don't give me that look, Jane. Or what? You can always make sarcastic jokes but I can't!?"

"No, Maura. It was really funny," I lied to her and smiled against my will. It was pathetic. I was being pathetic with my stupid lie. En the end, Maura didn't tell me who she dreamed about but I just kept my mouth shut. I decided it was for the best not to bring up that topic again.

* * *

It was late night and I was in my bed, tossing around. I was trying to sleep but it seemed like an impossible mission. I just couldn't stop thinking about Maura Isles. She was in my mind all day long but at that night I just wished I could forget about everything. And yet I couldn't. I decided it was for the best if I closed my eyes and not think about anything. Just clear my mind of any worries that I had. So I closed my eyes, trying to focus on my breathing. But after a while Maura appeared in my mind. I started thinking about her sexy body, remembering all the things she said to me that day. I saw what she was wearing that same day, her fitted dress and her curves. It wasn't my fault that she was always on my mind. She was the one who was so smoking hot that I just couldn't get her out of my head.

Soon enough I didn't mind it at all. I started picturing, thinking about her. Indulging into my dirty fantasies. I started dreaming about her, wondering what would she taste like. How would her lips feel against mine and what would be the taste of her kisses? How would I touch her, feeling her warm skin against my hand... and against my trembling body. I started imagining how I would make love to her. Love? What?! No! I meant fuck. Love would mean that I love her and I did not. At least that was what I told myself. Because she was my best friend and I couldn't have any other feelings than that. Just a simple friend feelings. Whatever that means... So I meant not to make love. I meant how would I fuck her. How I would fuck her brains out. And that would be it. I would make myself come with the thought of her and get her out of my system. Tomorrow it will all go away. Or at least I hoped so. I really, really hoped so.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: May I remind that English isn't my native language so I am not sure that I wrote everything correctly. Still, I hope you like it anyway. Please write reviews and let me know what you think about it.**

 _"I would make myself come with the thought of her and get her out of my system. Tomorrow it will all go away."_

 _ **The next day...**_

It didn't go away. I still couldn't get Maura out of my system. I just couldn't forget her. And I still had feelings for her. If anything, it was getting harder with every passed day. It was like my feelings for her grew even stronger with each day. My frustration, too. Because I knew that what I was thinking about last night was wrong. And what I would always start thinking about just by looking at her, too. That was all wrong. I felt bad the whole day because I spent the most of it trying to avoid her. And yet the whole day I was thinking about her. When I was with her, I couldn't stop stare at her, gaze at her lovely eyes, and think about things that I wasn't supposed to. It was really bad. But I just couldn't help it. It was like I couldn't control my thoughts.

When we met that day she invited me at her house after work. I said no at first but she insisted so I just gave up. I couldn't resist her lovely eyes and the way she was looking at me when she asked. I just couldn't say no to her. She said she wanted to teach me how to cook. Like I didn't know. Of course, at first, I made a joke about it, but in the end she won the argument.

* * *

 _ **Later the same day...**_

We were at her house and Maura was going to teach me how to cook. I didn't want her to teach me but she insisted on teaching me cooking at least one dish. And I just couldn't say no to her.

"So, what are we doing tonight?" I asked with a fake enthusiasm because I knew she would be really enthusiastic to teach me to cook even though I said no at first.

"What do you want to do?" Maura asked suggestively, looking at me.

"I meant food, Maura. What are we cooking tonight?"

"Oh," she exclaimed quietly. " We are making omelet," she declared.

"Omelet? That's it? That's just scrambled eggs, Maura."

"Beaten," she corrected me. "Not scrambled. We are going to beat them," she clarified for me.

"You will beat them?! How rude!" I exclaimed, making a joke but she didn't laugh. "Get it?" I asked and yet she didn't even smile at me. Not even a simple giggle or a polite smile. Now she was being rude.

"Well, that is unfortunate," she said after a few seconds and I looked at her.

"Misunderstanding?" I suggested with a puzzled look. I didn't know what she meant.

"No. Your joke," she answered.

"Ha! Ha! Very funny!" I said sarcastically.

 _"What did she even mean with that joke? To make a joke at my joke?"_

"That was just a joke, Maura. A simple joke," I said and shrugged nonchalantly.

 _"She was acting weird. Since when Maura started joking? And why she was telling such jokes to me?"_

"You didn't find my joke amusing?" she asked and looked at me expectantly.

"Yes." I answered. "I mean, no." I corrected myself. "I mean... What? Why do you even care?" I asked after a small pause.

"Well,... you know what they say: if you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything."

"Who said that?" I asked, not knowing what else to say about it.

"Marilyn Monroe," she answered.

"Oh," I said and bit my lip. I really didn't know what else to say.

 _"Why did she say that? Our conversation took a wild turn. What is she trying to tell me and what did she mean with that statement? Was she trying to make an innuendo? The way she said the word anything in the end definitely sounded like that. But maybe it was all just in my mind. Maybe I was being paranoid. I couldn't see any logic or any meaning whatsoever behind her words but I decided to keep my mouth shut. I knew that if I said anything she would think that I was nitpicking."_

"So... we are making scrambled eggs with some meat in it?" I said, trying to break the long and awkward silence.

"With vegetables," Maura corrected me.

"What? I can't even have any meat in them? Why?" I complained, asking her for a reason. I was really hungry and we were having eggs.

She didn't say anything just walked away. And so we started cooking. We needed to make beaten eggs and she was going to show me how. I knew it was a bad idea from the moment we started cooking but soon it turned out to be a real torture. She had to stand behind my back, tightly against me in order to show me how to mix the eggs in the bowl. I was holding the mixer and she was holding my hand, controlling my moves in order to show me how it's done. I tried to stay still and calm but I could barely stand the heat. The heat from her body so tightly against mine; the heat growing between my legs with every passed second. It was such a torture. Having her sexy body behind mine, literally. I knew it was bad idea right from the start. At that moment I really wished I haven't agreed to do this. That night was a real torture for me because during it Maura was so very close to me, watching me, showing me how to make things properly.

Finally, we made everything and so we stared eating. I was trying to calm down and not think about what happened during that night and about all the thoughts that were rushing through my mind while we were cooking together. I just tried to eat, not think about anything, just enjoy the food.

"So.. what do you want for dessert?" Maura asked after we finished our meals.

 _"You, I immediately answered myself and bit my lip to suppress my smug smile threatening to show my inappropriate thoughts to Maura."_

"What's so funny?" Maura asked, looking at me.

 _"Uh-oh! Okay, don't panic. Just make something up. Quickly!"_

"Still laughing at your joke," I answered.

She just gave me a puzzled look and didn't say anything. She went to the sink and started washing the dishes. I followed her.

"Maura, I could wash the dishes. That's the least I could do."

"No, Jane. I got it. I am already washing them," she said so I went away, sitting on the couch.

"Jane, will you pass me the apron?" Maura asked me after a few seconds, yelling from the sink and I gladly obeyed. I took the apron and went to give it to her but her hands were soapy and she was holding a dish, washing it so she asked me to put it on her. I put the apron on her and went behind her back to tie it while she continued with the washing. I tied the apron on a bow on her lower back and my hands lingered there, touching her sexy body. I just couldn't help it - she was so sexy even in apron. But as I was tying the knot of her apron, I felt how her breathing hitched the minute my hands touched her lower back. I roamed my hands on her lower back, slowly going down her thighs. She immediately stopped doing the dishes and I could swear that she liked this just as much as I did.

"I am already wet," she said all of a sudden. I thought I must have heard her wrong but I couldn't have because she said it so sexy that I was pretty sure of it.

"Me too," I answered, almost whispering in her ear. I didn't even need to think about it. Even though I just couldn't believe it was really happening, I just acted all by instinct.

"What?" she turned around and looked at me with a puzzled expression. The realization hit me the minute I saw the puzzled look on her face and I immediately felt really stupid. "I meant that I just saw I had sprinkled my blouse from the sink so the apron is kind of unnecessary," she said to me, looking down at herself, showing me the wet spot on her blouse.

"Yeah... I know what you meant... Me, too," I answered nonchalantly. Unfortunately I had realized what she meant a little too late.

"What? I am really sorry that I had sprinkled you, too. But I don't see any spot on your blouse..." She said, looking at me again, searching for something. I didn't expect she would be so persistent to see it for herself.

"Yeah, uhm... That's because you... You sprinkled... uhm... my face with water," I explained nervously, pointing at my face. "Yeap," I nodded confidently, trying to sound realistic. That was the first thing that crossed my mind and it was just in time. I was glad I could make something up because my mind was somewhere else and it still couldn't function properly.

"Where? " Maura asked, looking at me questionably, coming even closer. "I can't see it," she said, looking closely at my face.

"I wiped it! Okay!?" I answered way too defensively with a bit too high pitched voice than I ever indented. I just hoped that she wouldn't notice my nervousness. That was the most awkward moment of my entire life.

"Okay," she backed off a bit, looking surprised by my behavior. I must have looked like a freak. I felt so embarrassed. Embarrassed by my dirty mind, and by my stupid explanation to her. And mostly, because for a minute I thought that she really wanted me just as much as I did. I was so stupid.

"Relax, Maura. It's just water," I answered, hoping to smooth out the whole situation, trying not to put the blame on her because she looked pretty upset. After she washed the dishes she came and sat with me on the couch.

"Thanks for the dinner, Maura, but I have to go." I made an excuse and was ready to leave. The sooner the better. I felt so awkward. I just couldn't forgive myself for making such a stupid assumption. To think that Maura wanted me? How could I assume that she could even look at me that way?

"What ? Why?" She asked, surprised. "We still haven't eaten dessert."

"Because we are at work tomorrow. Remember?" I reminded her and then I gladly took off.

I didn't even want to think about that night. I wish I could erase it and not just from my mind but mostly, from Maura's mind. I wished she could forget all about it.


	4. Chapter 4

Maura wasn't at work in the morning. I got really worried and I called her but she didn't pick up her phone. So I decided to go at her house and look for her there. I rang the bell but she didn't open so I decided to use my key and just check for myself in case she was there. Maybe something had happened. I was sick and worried just by the thought that something bad could have happened to her.

"Maura!" I called, searching the house for her. Then I finally found her in her bedroom.

"Why aren't you answering your phone?" I asked a bit angrily. She looked okay so there must be a reason for her behavior because not answering your phone was a really serious matter. There was no excuse for that.

"I was in the bathroom," she answered with a raspy voice, and noticed that she didn't look like herself.

"What's going on? Are you alright?" I asked, getting near her.

"I am sick," Maura said, sniffing and then she carefully lied on the bed.

"Oh, Maura, why didn't you call me?" I asked, getting near her bed, worried to see her in that state.

"I have a flu. I am not dying."

"Are you feeling okay now? Do you need anything?" I asked, concerned. "Why didn't you call me?" I asked once again, looking expectantly at her.

"Because you don't have to take care of me, Jane. You have a job. Who else would catch killers?"

"They could wait if my friend is sick," I answered sincerely and caressed her hand. "Anything I could do for you? Did you take any pills?"

There was a long pause. And in that moment I noticed what she was wearing - a robe. I was so worried for her when I entered the room that I hadn't even noticed what she was wearing.

 _"Just a robe! Was she naked underneath? Focus on what is happening now, Jane. You can freak out some other time. Maybe later..."_

"Well, actually I was just going to apply VapoRub to my chest and then go to bed. So would you do it for me?" she asked I didn't know what to say. Even the thought of rubbing anything on her chest was unthinkable.

 _"I am so screwed. How screwed from one to ten? Well, eleven! No! A hundred! How am I supposed to answer without offending her? And Maura usually gets offended pretty easily even when she's not sick. So how should I politely decline her request? Just say no? Or perhaps decline with a sarcastic joke? What should I do?"_ I was thinking hard but my mind was blocked. _"Perhaps I should pretend that I am sick, too. It would be really easy if the ground just opens up and swallows me right now. Please God."_ I prayed silently as I looked upwards.But nothing happened. _"No?! Okay then..."_

"And would you rub my chest?" I asked as I winked at her. A sarcastic joke was the best I could come up with.

"What?" Maura looked at me, puzzled.

"I rub your chest if you rub mine. You know... like... like uh, I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine," I explained nervously to her or at least tried to explain myself but the look on her face told me she didn't get what I was saying at all. Or at least she looked that way. I just didn't know what to do next.

"Jane, is your back itching?" Maura asked with a puzzled look.

 _"Yep, she definitely didn't get it."_

"No, Maura. It's an expression."

"So?"

"So what?" I asked but I knew what she was going to ask me. Once again.

"Would you be so kind and help me do it? Would you VapoRub my chest, Jane?" she asked and looked at me with her beautiful hazel eyes.

"No," I answered, declining her request, crossing my hands defensively. I really hoped it didn't sound too harsh. "I am not rubbing anything!"

 _"Geez! Did that sound dirty only to me? Just because I find it hilarious doesn't mean she does as well. Okay, so just don't laugh. Keep a straight face. You can do it!"_

"I mean... You rub it yourself!" I exclaimed but stopped the minute I heard how my words sounded like.

 _"Okay, now I made it worse."_

"What?" she was still confused. I was just talking nonsense so I really couldn't blame her. I blamed myself and my dirty mind.

"I don't think that it's appropriate, Maura." I added, justifying my refusal to her. Maybe my words didn't even make any sense but I wasn't thinking clearly at that moment. I just had to make an excuse. And I couldn't find any better excuse than that.

"Okay," she said, taking the vaporub in her hands, opening it. "Will you at least hold it for me?" she asked, giving me the box. "I don't want to spill any on my sheets. They are very expensive, you know."

I had no choice but to agree. Not that I said a thing to her though. I just stood there, paralyzed, holding the box in my hand.

"Sit by me and hold it," she instructed me and I bit my lip not to laugh when I heard what she said.

 _"Why everything sounds so dirty to me? I just can't help it. Hold it together, Jane! You can do it!"_

"Oh, no. I am good here," I answered her, standing at my place, trying to stay calm and look nonchalant even though I knew what was going to happen next.

 _"Now she will be naked and I will be really screwed."_

She unfolded her robe and my mouth went dry just by the sight. She was all naked except for the panties she was wearing underneath. A sexy pair of black lace panties. I was totally screwed. But I was glad that she had at least something on her.

"I can't reach it from over there, Jane." Maura complained and I had to move closer though I really wished I didn't. Because it was pretty dangerous. I was barely holding myself.

"Okay, I will come," I said to her. "Closer!" I quickly added before my mind could even think of something dirty or inappropriate. Unfortunately it was too late.

She reached to take a little bit from the box I was holding in my hands, trying to stand still, and then she started rubbing it to her collarbone. I withdrew away from her once again, keeping a safe distance from her. It was for the best. The sight of her, touching her own very naked skin was breathtaking. My mouth was dry and I got paralyzed by the view. I knew that it was probably wrong to stare at her because she was sick but I just couldn't help it. I realized that I was probably drooling over her body so I tried to stop myself. I really tried. Because I just had to stay there and hold the box for her. I didn't have any choice.

 _"Just think about something. Baseball. That's a great idea! Baseball! Baseball, baseball. I think I am gonna score. If you let him all the way then you are a wh-why am I thinking about this stupid song?! No, actually it kind of helps. Think about songs, Jane. Or even better - movies. The Hot Chick. Ooh, that sounds just like Maura. A hot chick. Not helping... Okay, another movie! The Butterfly Effect. Butterflies. The butterflies I feel in my stomach every time I see her. Just like now. Okay, nope. Another! Another one! Think fast of another movie, Jane! 10 Things I Hate About You. Or maybe 10 things I like about her. Her gorgeous eyes, her lips... her hair... her breasts... her belly. Why am I listing all the things I like in her? If I go any lower I might explode. Okay, another movie! Just think of another movie! Something gross. A horror movie! Yeap!... Still, not helping!"_

"Okay, I will do it," I finally gave up. If I had to watch her do this even one more second I would most definitely go nuts. I thought that it will be better to do it myself instead of watching her touch herself like that. But I thought wrong. The minute I set my hand on her warm collarbone to rub the cream on her skin, I started feeling the consequences of my stupid offer to help her. I just wanted to run away. Immediately. Or just stay there and so something stupid. Something I might regret later. But I kept doing it since I had no choice. I didn't want to look strange in Maura's eyes.

 _"Her body is so warm. I feel so uncomfortable right now... Why does she have to be naked? I guess that she doesn't feel awkward about her nakedness. She sees naked people every day so it probably doesn't bother her. But it bothers me. A lot! In a good way. No, Jane, don't do that again. Don't go there."_

I had to ignore the uncomfortable dampness on my panties, the clenching of my stomach just by touching her. It was like a nightmare and a dream all at one. It was pure torture but it was bittersweet. I just tried to look nonchalant, to stay calm and breathe.

 _"Come on, Jane, you can do this. Think you're just applying cream on your friend's chest. Nothing wrong with that. She's your friend and you can't think about how hot she is right now. Or about how good her warm skin feels against my hand. Okay, think of something else. Think of something awful! Yeap. Dead bodies. Dead bodies. Baseball. Dead bodies and baseball. Dead bodies! Baseball! Oh, God, it's not working! It's not working! What will I do? It's so hot in here..."_

"Jane, you are sweating. Are you feeling sick?" Maura asked, reaching out her hand, putting it on my red cheek to feel how hot I was. "Your cheeks are burning. Do you have a flue?"

"No, Maura, I am fine." I reassured her.

 _"Okay. No need to panic. She doesn't have a clue why you are sweating so much. Just keep it cool. And better yet, hurry up. Just lay some cream on her skin and rub it quickly. The faster the better."_

"Okay, I am done," I declared, hurrying up to finish. Then I quickly got up from her bed and went away under the pretext of washing my hands.

 _"I definitely need a shower. A cold one..."_

 **AN: Just one single comment on my previous chapter. :-( This makes me really sad... Is anyone interested in a continue or should I give up on this story? Please just let me know what you think. I really hope this chapter would get more reviews and more approval from the readers.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Sorry that I haven't posted a new chapter lately but it was holidays and I didn't have any time for writing. I want to thank you all so much for your reviews. I didn't know there are so many readers interested in this story. I am really glad. I really appreciate every single comment and this makes me really happy. :-) I hope you enjoy the next chapter as well. Please write reviews and let me know whether you like it or not. Pretty please**

Maura and I were having dinner at her house. After we ate, Maura and I sat on the couch to watch some tv and relax after work.

"Hey, are you tired, Jane? Because I can give you a massage," Maura suggested out of the blue.

"Really?"

"I'd love to help you relax. I mean, you helped me when I was sick. You took care of me. I'd be glad to return the favor."

"Thanks Maura, but I am good." I declined her offer.

"I insist," she stated and looked at me with her lovely eyes. How could I say no to her? That was impossible.

At first, of course, I politely declined a few times but she kept insisting on massaging me. I don't know why I said yes. But in the end, I was naked on the bed, a sheet covering my body, waiting for Maura to begin. Even the thought of Maura giving me a full body massage was arousing enough and to know that after just a few seconds her hands would be all over my body... Oh, my!

I felt how Maura removed the sheet covering my body, sipped a few drops of massage oil on my skin, spreading it all over my back and started massaging me. The warm oil felt so good on my skin. It was really good. And feeling Maura's hands all over my spine was even better.

First, she started with my neck, massaging it slowly. She had her hands all over my neck, gently caressing it, applying a little pressure with her thumbs. And it felt great.

"Do you like it?" she asked softly in my ear, continuing her sweet massage. I could feel her hot breath on my ear and it gave me goosebumps. It was so relaxing. And turning me on.

"Yeah," I confirmed, biting my lip.

As I said that, her hands went down, massaging my lower back but I didn't say a thing. I didn't want her to stop. What could I say to her? No, thanks Mura. Just stop doing that because if you go any lower I might explode. That was out of the question. So I didn't say anything, just let her do whatever she wanted.

Maura probably bent down closer to my body because I felt a few curls of her hair on my back and then I felt her hot breath against my skin. What was she doing? I just froze and tried not to move, waiting to see what she was about to do. And then I felt it - I felt a feather light kiss on my skin. First she started with my neck, then she went down, trailing light soft kisses all over my spine. She left me breathless. That was so good... I didn't say anything because I was afraid that if I said something she might stop. And I didn't want her to stop. She moved her hand on my backside, massaging it while she continued kissing my spine. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.

Suddenly I got startled by a sudden noise. It was my alarm clock. And then I realized that this was all a dream. Crap! Why did my alarm clock had to go off just when things were getting interesting!? Honestly, it wasn't my first dream because I've been dreaming a lot lately. And all of my dreams included Maura. I tried to fall asleep again in order to continue my dream but it didn't work so I had to get up. I had to go to work.

* * *

It was late afternoon and Mura had promised to make dinner so we had a date... oaky, not a date. Definitely not a dated but uhm... an agreement to see each other after work at her place. So after work we headed straight to her house.

We just entered her house and I immediately sat on Maura's couch, trying to relax while Maura was supposed to do the cooking.

"Jane, would you unzip me?" Maura got close to me and asked, turning her back to me.

"What?" I asked, and looked at her questionably.

"Unzip my dress," she said, talking over her shoulder and pointed at her back.

 _"Yess, I would gladly unzip it. I'd take it off of you if you'd like. I can do that too. And I am willing to do it right now."_

"Yeah, sure," I answered as I shrugged like I didn't mind it, trying to look nonchalant about it.

She came even closer to me and she just waited there. I got up and put my hand on her shoulder and then I started unzipping her dress. The second I felt her warm body so close to me and saw her naked skin my hand lingered there. I unzipped her dress slowly, imaging kissing every millimeter of the exposed skin that I was revealing inch by inch underneath her dress. And then I saw the straps of her bra. It was lace and red. Was she trying to kill me?!

"Thanks," she turned around and looked at me. "Was there a problem? You were so slow."

"Oh, uhm... yeah... Yeah, uhm t-the z-zipper... it was... the... The zipper was stuck," I said finally, managing to think of something clever. And plausible. _"Okay, it wasn't that clever but can you blame me?"_

"Oh, okay," she said, holding her dress and then she exited the room without further questions.

 _"Phew! That was close!"_ I thought to myself as I flung on the couch once again.

Then, after a few minutes Maura came back and she was wearing another dress. Maybe she was trying to give me a heart attack. Because she looked stunning.

 _"Oh, my! She looks so hot in that dress. Even better than the previous one. It's getting better and better. Or worse. Because it's definitely getting harder for me to focus on anything when she looks that way and when she is being so dangerously close to me."_

"Jane, would you zip it?"

"What? I haven't said a word," I answered defensively. I hoped that I haven't said anything out loud unconsciously, of course. But I panicked a little bit because she might have heard my inappropriate thoughts.

"Would you zip my dress?" she said and turned around.

"Yeah, of course. I don't have a job. My job is to zip and unzip your dresses whenever you want me to do it. My aim is to serve you," I was murmuring under my breath, complaining about it.

I tried this time to be quicker because I didn't want it to look suspicious. So I just quickly did the zipping. With less thinking and more action was better. I didn't leave myself any time even to think about something inappropriate.

"Jane, are you okay?" she asked, turning around to look at me.

"Yeah. Peachy."

"You don't look okay to me," she said, looking really concerned about me.

 _"Well, I just felt your warm body and saw your lace bra, how do you expect me to be!?"_

"Thank you for your kind compliment. You look awful too." I made a snarky comment, hoping she would just leave me alone.

"I mean that you're red, Jane. Are you feeling alright? Perhaps you're getting a flu. Do you have temperature?" She asked and came closer to me, putting her lips on my forehead.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I asked, getting away from her. Closeness with Maura was something I was trying to avoid. Especially after I lied to her about the zipper of her dress, saying it was stuck. I felt terrible about it. Really embarrassed that I had to lie to her. And that I couldn't just help it. I couldn't help myself or just stop myself from touching her and from thinking about million inappropriate things that I shouldn't think about.

"I am making sure you don't have fever," she answered.

"Since when did you turn into a thermometer, Maura?" I asked sarcastically.

"That's the first thing you have to do to check if someone has a fever. And you seem warm to me but not so hot, Jane. The second thing you have to do is to check if the person's skin is flushed or red. And your cheeks are flushed. So do you blame me for worrying about you?"

"And what's the next thing to do then? Perhaps measure the temperature with an actual thermometer?" I suggested, mocking her.

"The next thing is to see if the person is shivering and sweating. Are you sweating, Jane?" She asked, getting near me again, reaching her hand to touch me, obviously to check if I was sweating.

"I am fine," I said, pushing her hand away. "Thank you, Doctor Isles."

"Jane, don't take offense but I have to tell you that you've been acting weird lately. Is something the matter?" She asked and looked at me with that gorgeous eyes, sincerely concerned about me.

"Nothing's the matter..." I said, crossing my hands defensively. "You're weird," I blamed her back.

"Maybe it's just because you're tired. You do look a bit tired," she noticed, looking at me with a concerned expression. "Tough case?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "I've been writing paperwork for so long my neck is aching," I said, touching my neck. "And my back," I added.

"I can give you a massage," she suggested and looked at me questionably.

"That's really nice of you but no, thank you. I am good," I declined her offer, trying to sound as polite as possible not to offend Maura.

 _"Oh, my! Just like in my dream. Perhaps I am dreaming again. What's going on? What is wrong with me? Is my dream really happening? Turning into reality? Of course not! Don't get any wrong ideas! Now is not the time to dream and even think about such things, Jane."_

"You took care of me when I was sick. Now I can return the favor. You vaporub my chest, I'll vaporub your back. Neck! I mean your neck. Your spine... Well, you know what I mean."

"I really appreciate it, Maura, but I don't want you to do it. I don't want you to vaporub anything on me. "

"I won't vaporub it. I'll just rub it," she specified.

 _"Does she realizes how dirty she sounds right now?... Perhaps she doesn't."_

"There won't be any rubbing!" I said immediately. "At all," I quickly added. "I can rub it myself. I mean... You know what I meant!"

 _"Okay, now I am the one who sound dirty. Uhg!"_

"But I insist. Come on, Jane. I'd be glad to do it. I really want to take care of you as you took care of me when I was sick. Please, would you let me? You don't have to say no to everything. I'd be really glad to return the favor."

"Oaky."

 _"Oops! Did I said that out loud? Seeing her broad smile I realized that I had agreed. Why the hell did I agree!?"_

I sat on the couch and she sat near me and started massaging me.

"You know what? Let's eat. I am starving," I suggested, ready to get up. Hopefully she would agree and just let me go. I was desperately trying to make her stop because when she was around, so close to me, I couldn't be sure in myself. Not after my dream with her. The temptation was way too close.

"We will eat later," she answered, still holding me. I had no choice but to stay and let her massage me.

 _"Okay, you can do this, Jane"_ I encouraged myself a little bit, thought it was not enough.

 _"It's not like my dream. I am just being paranoid. In my dream I was naked and she was giving me a full body massage. And now no one is naked. Tough I really wish she was... And plus, she is not giving me a full body massage, just a regular friendly massage. A normal one. Yep. It's totally normal that I like it so much. "_

It felt so good. Feeling her hands all over my shoulders, massaging me softly and oh-so-gently. I was biting my lip hard, trying not to make any sound. I was melting under Maura's soft hands, wandering all over my sensitive skin. I felt so relaxed and a bit tingly, too, but in a nice way. I felt her thumbs circling around, massaging my neck. I even felt her breath against my skin which was making me shiver. It was giving me goosebumps all over my body. Then I felt something else. Something very unexpected. I felt a light kiss over my shoulder very close to my neck. I couldn't help but moan "Mmm" in a delight. But suddenly, I remembered that I wasn't just imagining things and this was real.

"Maura..."

 **To be continued...**


	6. Chapter 6

I felt so relaxed and a bit tingly, too, but in a nice way. I felt her thumbs circling around, massaging my neck. I even felt her breath against my skin which was making me shiver. It was giving me goosebumps all over my body. Then I felt something else. Something very unexpected. I felt a light kiss over my shoulder very close to my neck. I couldn't help but moan "Mmm" in a delight. But suddenly, I remembered that I wasn't just imagining things and this was real.

"Maura..."

Her name just slipped out of my mouth but I instantly regretted it because Maura stopped abruptly. She froze on her spot and I panicked. I had no other choice so I turned around to face her.

"I am so sorry," she hurried to say, guilt spread all over her face. She had turned red form embarrassment and shame.

"What for?" I asked. I didn't know what else to say to her.

"I am sorry I did this. I am really, really sorry." She immediately started apologizing. "I shouldn't have... done that... I should have... uhm... stopped myself. And I am terribly sorry."

"Yeah. I am sorry, too." I said and looked at her. "I am sorry that you stopped." I murmured it loud enough for her to hear me and then I quickly looked down. I hoped she would get what I meant to say.

"Yeah, I am sorry, too... Wait. What?... I am confused," she stated with a puzzled look. "Did you just say that you're sorry that I stopped kissing you?" she asked and looked expectantly at me.

I had two possibilities - to tell her the truth or to tell her a lie. I didn't know which one was right. I could just lie to her and hide my feelings once again, justify myself in front of her and pretend that this was just a misunderstanding. A bad choice of words. Or I could tell her about my feelings and risk being rejected. Or even worse - risk out friendship because of a simple kiss. A kiss that I had no idea what was all about. Maybe she was just checking my temperature or something like that. I really had no clue what she was doing. And mostly, why. But that was my only option. I saw this whole situation as a chance for me to finally confess about my attraction for her.

So I just nodded my head in silent agreement. I confirmed my words. That should be enough.

"W-what? Wow." That was all she said. And then there was a pause. A long pause turning into a decade. Or at least it seemed like a decade to me. I wish I could hear what she was thinking about at that moment.

"Soo... let me get this straight," she started talking and I immediately looked at her. "You said that you are sorry that I stopped kissing you... which means that you want me to continue. You want me to kiss you," she said and then looked at me questionably.

"Yeap. Pretty much," I just agreed with her. I wanted to give her some time to mull things over.

"Soo... basically... uhm this means that you like me," she stated, still a bit confused with a puzzled look. "Do you?"

"I thought you figured as much," I answered, smiling.

"Are you sure?"

The last questions just made me laugh. But I swallowed it because Maura could take it badly and think that I am just joking.

"Of course I am sure," I confirmed. "I've never been more sure in my entire life."

"Oh Jane, if you only knew what it was like for me," she exclaimed sounding so relieved. "I had to keep my feelings in a secret all this time. And I could barely focus on my work when you were around."

"What? I thought I was the only one feeling such an attraction towards you."

"Well, I made you some hints. Wasn't it kind of obvious? I was trying to be subtle though because I couldn't tell you just like that. But I was asking you all kind of questions. And I even confessed to you that I had a wet dream about you. And that's just to begin with."

"And then you said it was a joke," I reminded her.

"Well, yeah but I asked you all kind of... sexual questions and yet you just avoided them and ran away. As you said it, you pleasured yourself by walking out of the conversation. Out of any conversation that I start with you on that topic. And you always do that, Jane. Either you make a sarcastic joke to avid uncomfortable question, or you run away."

"I really do that?"

"Or you answer my question with a question," she stated.

"Really?" I asked and she giggled because obviously I was still doing it.

"I did so many things, Jane, I even tried to flirt with you. Did you know that you can't make a girl think about having sex with you if you don't plant that thought in her mind yourself? I read some articles about it."

 _"Poor Maura. My sweet geek. It never even crossed my mind to read some articles about how to flirt with a woman. Or ask someone for advice. But my smarty-pants Maura did. Okay, she is not mine. Yet."_

"The article said that I should talk about sex with you and flirt with you and so I did. Or at least I tried."

"What!? And when did you flirt with me?" I was shocked. I haven't noticed her flirting. I couldn't even imagine her flirting with anyone.

"Well... I looked at you and smiled more often. I tried touching you more often. But you always run away, Jane."

"Well, that's not running. That's just avoiding."

"You know, when I was doing the dishes and you came so close to me. And then your hands lingered on my body. Do you remember what I said to you?"

 _"Do I remember? Of course I remember! How can I forget?!"_

I nodded in agreement and bit my lip, remembering the words she said to me.

"Well, I really meant it. But then I quickly changed my mind because you looked at me with those eyes of yours and I just gave up. I pretended that I meant something else, entirely different from what I have planned because I just couldn't muster enough courage to tell you the truth. And then you got angry and frustrated and I didn't know what I did wrong."

"Oh, Maura, I am so sorry."

"And do you remember what I said once to you. I said that if you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. I was making innuendoes but you didn't seem to notice. Was it way too subtle? I was just trying to be funny, tell some jokes and make you laugh. But I gotta tell you, you're tough."

"Well, I am sorry but I haven't noticed. I thought it was a bit weird but I had no idea why you started making jokes, Maura."

"Well, now you know. It was because of you," she simply answered.

"Maura, I want to ask you something but please don't get mad at me. When you had a flue, did you fake it, too? Was that some kind of a plan? A way to seduce me? Don't get me wrong, I am just curious."

"What? No. Of course not. I wouldn't go that far."

"Well, what about the vaporub?"

"That was just a bad judgment. I didn't know you would agree. I was sick and I was just feeling really bad. But thank God you stopped quickly because I have to tell you, I was getting so turned on, I was this close of being dripping wet. Though I was curling my toes but you didn't seem to notice."

 _"Maura was going to be dripping wet because of me? If only I have noticed..."_

"Yeah, I was uhm... kind of avoiding looking at you. I thought it would make things worse," I answered. "Lately I've been felling frustrated but it was... it was all because of you."

"What? You don't think I've been frustrated, too? You don't think it was a torture for me, too?" Maura exclaimed, questioning. "I have to tell you it was a torture that you were so close to me and yet I had to act calm and nonchalant about it. And sometimes I've been this close of telling you how I feel."

Hearing how Maura felt and how much she wanted me was really nice. Finally I felt relaxed now that she know everything. And hearing she has been craving for me was a huge turn on. I figured she wanted me as much as I did.

"Can I ask something?" I asked, interrupting her. "You know what I don't understand?"

"What?"

"Why are we still talking?" I asked and looked at her questionably.

"You are right. We should stop talking."

"Maura, you are still talking," I noted and I kissed her lips to silence her. She immediately stopped talking and kissed me back passionately.

There was no more talking after that. I put my tongue to better use.

 **AN: This was the final chapter. So how did you like the final chapter and the whole story as well? Was it funny? Was it good? How was the writing? Please after you read it leave a comment and let me know. Thank you in advance**


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